Pants – the confessions of a Christian gamer.

In terms of my targets today has been a bit pants (hence the title and humorous picture, well I think there’s a humorous element to it :p). I got to prayer albeit a bit late but that didn’t matter too much, and I did some chores but again could have done better on that front and I’m going to have to do the food shopping another time soon. Spent most of the day not doing much just relaxing, which if you haven’t gathered I’ve been doing a bit much of these past few years.

So as I have alluded to in previous posts and in the title I am a bit of a gamer with me playing a lot of Blizzard games at the moment. Mostly Heathstone and Diablo 3 but I have started to play Starcraft 2 today and have played some of the free version of WoW (I’m too lazy to type out the full name – we all know what I’m referring to though so it doesn’t matter). Though I am a bit of a sucker for The Elder Scrolls Series (Oblivion and Skyrim – I don’t particularly rate Morrowind but I started on Oblivion rather than Morrowind as many did so I may well be influenced by that).

Being a Christian I have no problem with such games or those who watch/read TV/films/books of that fantasy sort of genre and read and watch such films/programs and books myself though I admit I’m not the biggest reader ever. I also enjoy Magic the Gathering though I haven’t properly collected in years and just haven’t had the money to really collect. Though I don’t have a problem with all these things in principle they (along with any form of entertainment really) can easily get in the way of work, chores and even relationships. Unfortunately this has at times (not always) been a problem and my degree did suffer from it though other factors were involved including my inability to get into a good regular sleep pattern which allowed me to get to all my lectures etc. Just another of the problems that I hoped this blog would be able to help with in the long run.

When I said that even relationships suffer what I mean is that I have missed things because I have been playing rather than going to an event. Being the sort of person I am it meant (and still means) that I can get cut out a lot and it’s my fault rather than anyone elses. This combined with not feeling very comfortable forming friendships has lead to some of the isolation I have felt and I know that God has slowly been working on this and that things are slowly improving. Just like some of my friends I will always be a bit of a gamer but I do want to get more of a balance and spend more time with my friends and family – including my Father in Heaven. I want to get the right balance in all my relationships and maybe not so much form new ones – though that is important and not to be forgotten but I want to concentrate on deepening some of the relationships I have formed and do it in a way that is appropriate depending on who it is.

A bit of a sporadic post again today but I just wanted to get my thoughts out there on this. Which brings us on to my targets for tomorrow:

• Get to the 9am service again – it was such a great experience last week.
• Get to church early for setting up for the evening services.

I have decided that I am going to add one final long term goal to my goals list:

• Be proactive in everything I do each day – seeking God, doing the various chores and jobs required each day etc.

So to recap the exhaustive list now stands as:

• Stay on the path God has set before me
• View myself in a positive light which brings glory to God
• Find a job in television production/find out what God has for me as a career.
• Feel more positive about myself even when I don’t feel great about myself, this is a decision not just some feeling.
• Be proactive in everything I do each day – seeking God, doing the various chores and jobs required each day etc.

So as to not overwhelm myself I’m going to leave my long term goals as they are and not add to them until I start ticking some of them off. Some are life long targets but most can be ticked off or modified as I journey on. The challenge now is to start seeing real change in some of the cycles that have plagued me since starting university. Having found purpose in my life I now need to channel that purpose so that I have a positive influence on the world around me in a way that is glorifying to God and in which God can be seen in every step. I realise that this is stupidly easy to say but ridiculously hard to go out and do but it is what I need to do – no matter how many times I fall, no matter what the cost.

I’ll leave it there for tonight. Night.

I 0:)